Everything about him screamed your future.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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