How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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