you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
