you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
