hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
