I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
