I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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