i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm both gender and math confused
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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