Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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