worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
