the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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