Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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