You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
