My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
