I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
