So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I deserve this hangover.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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