Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
