all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
