Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
