We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
