Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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