Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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