I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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