ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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