Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
did you just send me my own nude
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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