Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
