I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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