Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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