Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize