first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize