It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
