that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
