I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
