I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
