Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
