dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
