Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
