In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have post one night stand depression
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