Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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