We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
