eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
