whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Porn is love you can see.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
