He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hippo gnu deer
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
