Come see our sink grown plant.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
