it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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