Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
