I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
