i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
