OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
