i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
