The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
