Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
