My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize