i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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