Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
