so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
