Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
