Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
