her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize