On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize