No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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