we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
