he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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