I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize