it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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