she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize