I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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