I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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